Are You Too Trusting?

Are you too trusting? In the previous blog I dealt with the issue of transference and how our difficult experiences in the past can cause trust problems in our present relationships. There is a “flip side” to transference related to trusting people which we also need to be aware of because that can cause tremendous heartache also. Let’s say you grew up in a family where you could absolutely trust the word and character of your parents. And, for argument’s sake, let’s say that you would admit to being too trusting […]

What is Your Trust Quotient?

What is your trust quotient? Very trusting of others? Too trusting of some people? Distrusting of almost everyone? How did we come to be who we are when it comes to the matter of trust? Since a good marriage and other important relationships depend on trust, it’s important for us to think some about these questions. You may not have to search any further than your family of origin to understand why you trust the way you do. If you grew up in an environment that was emotionally stable it […]

Trust Your Spouse?

There is no way to overstate the importance of trust in marriage. Trust is to your marriage what your heart is to your body. Trust is absolutely indispensable to a healthy marriage. Therefore, our character and the things we do to earn trust are vital if we are to have a good marriage. What I have just said implies at least two important things about trust. First, trust is a basic need in your marriage. Being able to depend on each other to respect your deepest feelings and needs builds […]

How to Build Trust In your Marriage

How do you build trust in your marriage? It’s a wonderful thing to be in a marriage where you trust your partner. Such trust builds security and hope, diminishes anxiety and fear and makes the challenges of family life much easier to deal with.  In my previous blogs I have dealt with the importance of trust and many situations which present us with the opportunity to build trust with each other. In this blog I want to be very direct in my approach and give you some advice which will […]

Parenting and The Trust Factor

Do you realize your parenting affects the trust factor in your marriage? One of the most important areas in which trust is built or destroyed in marriage is how you deal with your children. Having children, for most couples, is the easy part. Rearing those children to become healthy, responsible people is not so easy. Let’s face it; children are expensive and can be a lot of work if you do child rearing as you should. There was a time in our country when the basic idea was that the […]

How Dependable Are You?

How dependable are you? The way in which you keep your word and do, or neglect to do, what you are supposed to do affects trust in your marriage. One word that aptly describes the idea I’m getting at is dependability. This is not so much about deliberately lying or misleading your spouse but whether or not he/she can depend on you to do what you’ve agreed to do. Dependability covers a broad range of issues: faithfulness, truthfulness, and all the little things husbands and wives do to make their […]

Personal Faithfulness

What does a marriage look like where trust is intact in many areas of everyday life? Such a marriage is not free of problems or stain but it does have a sense of partnership and cooperation in dealing with life’s issues which makes marriage very satisfying and successful. To more completely answer the question posed above I want to deal with some specific situations in marriage where trust is a core issue. Some would say that not having trust in these areas is a “deal breaker” or grounds for ending […]

The Trust Factor: Marriage (part one)

Trust is vital in marriage. I recently heard of a situation where a young wife had discovered her husband was having an affair. When she confronted him about his unfaithfulness and the marriage vows he took he replied, “That’s just a piece of paper.” The “piece of paper” he was referencing was, of course, the marriage license. There are several things wrong with a scenario like this. First, adultery is wrong. It is a breach of trust between a man and a woman who have agreed to be faithful to […]

How Cute Is Your Kid?

Appearance is a big deal in our superficial society. To be cute or handsome is “good” and to not be”blessed” with good looks is not so good. The word “cute” ranks in the top 20% of words in use today. We have been so indoctrinated by this value system that we tend to see people differently based on their physical attractiveness. Do you believe your kid’s true worth should be measured by how he or she registers on the “attractive” scale?  I certainly hope not. A parent with this type of […]

Is Your Child Special ?

 Does your child know he is special ? When our son, Nathan, was small his mom would often ask him this question,”If all the little boys in the world lined up and I got to pick out anyone I wanted,do you know who I would choose?” I can still hear his giggling, happy “me” in response to her question. This was just one of many ways my wife and I sought to communicate a highly important message to our children. That message was: You are very important to us. Is […]