Mrs. Robinson was an attractive, elderly lady who served in a staff position at the college I was attending. We had exchanged friendly “hellos” when we would happen to meet on campus but I didn’t know her very well. I had no clue about the role she would play in a life-long paradigm shift in the way I would think about the meaning of love.
Timing is very important in sharing advice with people and the time was right for me. I was in a very frustrated state of mind about relationships with young women. The way I had approached these relationships had left me disappointed and empty. I believed the Hollywood idea of love and romance and expected the other person to somehow make me happy and complete. I had dated some really good people but the “magic” hadn’t happened. What I was thinking and doing wasn’t working. I was ready for some help and God showed up.
Mrs. Robinson walked by and asked to join me on the bench where I was sitting. She must have sensed God leading her to sit with me. She was a good listener and very careful in the way she gave advice. After a few pleasantries, I felt comfortable telling her what was troubling me. She heard me and understood the hunger for love and meaning that was being expressed in my words. She discerned the wrong thinking that had left me frustrated and empty and offered a new way of thinking about love. “Cos,” she said, “Concentrate on how to be a loving person, not on how to be loved.”
I studied Plato, Socrates, Aristotle, and other great thinkers in college but that was the most profound idea I heard while pursuing my degree. And, it remains one of the most meaningful concepts I have ever heard. The essence of what Mrs. Robinson was saying clearly lines up with the teaching of Jesus and the way He lived and died.
What we think at a conviction level is seen in how we live. Mrs. Robinson was attempting to show me a biblical way to think about myself and others. She was saying, without really saying it, that I needed to change my thinking about how to have the meaning and purpose I wanted from life. To do what she suggested would mean to allow Christ to change me into the caring person He wanted me to be. (Romans 8:29).
Have you noticed how our culture worships at the altar of the wealthy, powerful, and popular? Much of the junk we experience in politics, entertainment, education, and media can be traced to the lack of one thing: we don’t value character anymore. We need lots of folks like Mrs. Robinson who have deep convictions about biblical values and are willing to help those who will listen find a better way of thinking. Will you be that person for someone?
Thank you, Mrs. Robinson, for listening and giving me something to consider that has made a real difference in the way I try to live. And, Mrs. Robinson, I’m still working on what you advised, and trying to pass that idea along to others who will listen.