When our son, Nathan, was small his mom would often ask him this question,”If all the little boys in the world lined up and I got to pick out anyone I wanted,do you know who I would choose?” I can still hear his giggling, happy “me” in response to her question. This was just one of many ways my wife and I sought to communicate a highly important message to our children. That message was: You are very important to us.
Is there anything you could give your child that is more valuable or potentially life-changing than a sense of being special? There is no substitute or rival to his sense of being really important to you. This is an unparalleled gift, one he cannot buy or earn or should feel compelled to do so. This is a gift from a parent’s heart, a gift of grace. This gift of acceptance is the cornerstone of emotional and spiritual health. Only when this piece of life’s puzzle is in place do the other pieces begin to fall into place also.
When parents fail to give their child a sense of acceptance; of being loved for who they are, the child is left to search for that important, missing piece in other places. As you can imagine, people attempt to try to find meaning to their life in many different ways. The bottom line is that we all need to feel loved, to be accepted for who we are.
This sense of being special we seek to instill in our child is not something we can do by doing any certain thing. Feeling loved is a by-product, a result of paying attention to three aspects of your child’s life. In other words, there are three areas which are very important to your child’s sense of himself. Your child’s view of his physical self, his sense of accomplishment or defeat and the views of significant others toward him combine to help him feel good about himself or not so good. Go to my book, Parenting With a Purpose, http://www.smashwords.com/books/view/138381 for more detail on these areas..