Your Choices, Your Character, and Your Destiny

 

What do 168 and 8736 have in common? 168 is the number of hours we have in one week. From that, you have probably concluded the 8736 has something to do with hours also. It is the hours we are given in one year.

On average an American male lives 76 years while females outlive us by 5 years, on average. Like me, some of you are “living on borrowed time.” One thing I am aware of is that I am running out of time and I need to faithfully use what I have left to prepare myself for the life ahead that has no time limit. What about you?

One of the truths I’ve been thinking about a lot recently is this: The choices I make determine my character, which in turn determines my future. This brings me back to 168 and 8736, and more importantly to 24, the hours I’m given today. This may be the only time I have left. I must make good choices about how I will invest my life because those choices will determine my character.

Somewhere I came across the idea that you can get a pretty accurate idea about a person’s character by examining their calendar and their checkbook; how they spend their time and money. The way we use time and money indicates what is most important to us. Your behaviors related to these two resources give a vital clue about your most deeply-held values. Your character, your religion, is not what you profess to believe but how you live. The decisions you make concerning your resources are the real test of who you are, not who you think or say you are. Day after day, you make choices which, little by little, make you more like Jesus or put you further and further away from being the person you were created to be.

Your incredible power of choice is exercised in many ways every day by how you treat God, yourself, family members, and others. Your character is always in the process of developing or devolving, and it is critical that you understand and cooperate with God’s plan and make wise choices in the way you invest your life.

Jesus tells us to keep things in our brief life in perspective. Our time is limited and we need to be sure we have invested our time, money, and other resources in those things that have eternal value. “Do not lay up for yourself treasures on earth where moth and rust can ruin them and thieves can steal them. But lay up for yourself treasures in heaven.” (Matthew 6:19-20).

God has given you today. How will you invest it?

“He is no fool who gives up what he cannot keep for what he cannot lose.”  Jim Elliot 

God Loves You and Has a Plan for Your Life

God loves you and has a plan for your life.

What’s your response to this statement? If you’ve grown up going to church or have been raised in a Christian home, this is something you have heard for a long time. Maybe it’s one of those ideas you’ve heard so many times you don’t think about it much anymore. But, you and I need to think about it! We need to think deeply about it because understanding that God, the Creator of this universe, loves us is critical to living a purposeful and fulfilling life.

Why do I say believing this truth is so important? Jesus tells us in John 3:16 that God loves us. We should take Jesus at His word but why is it important to believe this? When you know someone loves you, you trust them to always try to do what is best for you. That kind of love between a man and woman is a wonderful thing. That kind of love helps our children feel secure and trust us even when they don’t like our decisions. Now, think about what being loved by God implies. Knowing I am loved by God means I can trust the events of my daily life and my future to His wisdom. This kind of security bolsters my faith in Him when times are tough. In those times, I know He is working in “everything for good” for me. (Romans 8:28). Being confident that God loves me gives me hope in difficult times and encourages me to live obediently under His care.

Our loving Father also has a plan for our lives. I’m not thinking specifically about the work or profession we will have on earth. God certainly can and will lead us in our vocational choices but God has a greater plan than that for us! This plan is for you, me, and everyone who confesses faith in Jesus as our Savior. If you think Jesus died on the cross and rose again to just save you from hell, you need to listen up. Yes, if you truly trust in Jesus you will go to heaven but God has a plan for you between the time He saved you and the time you die. Specifically, His plan is to make a new person out of you. He’s not going to leave you alone. He wants to change the way you think, the way you treat Him, yourself, and others. He wants to continue the change He began in you when you first trusted Him. And, where is this plan leading? He wants to make you like Jesus. You can read it for yourself in Romans 8:29.  

This truth is central to the Christian worldview. God has created you in His image and has a plan to save you from your sin, pride, and selfishness. This plan, often referred to by terms such as salvation and sanctification, is initiated and brought about as His Spirit awakens you to God’s love and forgiveness provided through the cross and resurrection of Jesus. Once you have responded in faith to God’s offer of eternal life through the work of Jesus, He goes about the process of accomplishing His ultimate purpose for you, to form in you the very character of Jesus.

That’s right, God’s master plan is to use your life experiences, the good and the difficult, to form the character of Jesus in you. His plan is for you to live a surrendered, obedient life in which you live in the power of His Spirit and consciously, proactively dedicate and use your time, money, energies, and talents to serve Him and others.

The God of heaven loves you and has a great plan for your life! That may sound incredible but it’s true. Embrace it. Give yourself to Him and watch Him work in your life.

 

 

 

The Girl with a Nice Voice

The Girl with a Nice Voice

Recently Cecelia and I were notified to go to Nashville to get our first covid-19  shot. This was good news but I was unfamiliar with the exact location. So, on the day we were to go I put the address information into the GPS, which I often refer to as “the girl with a nice voice.” I have been to Nashville hundreds of times but, as mentioned earlier, I needed help from the AI system with the exact location of the East Garage where I was instructed to park. 

As I monitored the screen I could see the distance to the garage was diminishing and soon the girl with a nice voice said “destination is on the left” and with the voice of confidence she announced “destination.” Good, I thought and made the left turn and parked in the garage. With the help of a young woman, we found the place to get our shots and everything was wonderful until…we tried to find our car.

We followed the directions of a nice employee to get back to the East Garage and found the elevator and punched the number 4.The elevator didn’t go to the 4th floor. We approached an attendant and explained where we had parked and discovered that we were in the East Garage but the reason the elevator didn’t go to the 4th floor was that this garage didn’t have the 4th floor. After about 45 minutes of walking and asking for directions, we discovered we had actually parked in the Central Garage.  

The “girl with a nice voice” had deceived me and I had been laboring for some time under wrong information, thinking I was parked somewhere I wasn’t. Bad or partial information can create real problems and confusion. Correct information can lead us to the right thinking and actions.

When we return to the same place for our second covid-19 shot I will be wiser and will trust what experience has taught me. Some information is a lie, some is partially correct and some is absolutely correct. Life experience has taught me I can’t completely trust AI and the opinions of persons with a certain agenda. However, I do have a “guidance system” which is totally true and accurate about the big things that have ultimate value and meaning in life. I can rely on God and his Word to guide me in the way I should live.

“I will meditate on thy precepts, and regard thy ways. I shall delight in thy statute;

I shall not forget thy word.” Psalm 119: 15-16  

 

 

How Emotionally Mature Are You?

How emotionally mature are you? What if someone treated you the way you treat others? Would you feel happy, angry, disappointed, important or encouraged? Have you had someone hurt you by their careless remark or act?  Have you considered that your words and actions have a powerful effect on others? This is especially true with your child. To a large degree your child’s sense of himself comes from his interpretation of your words and actions toward him.

No one can be perfect, we all make mistakes. However, being mindful of  the power of our influence should cause us to use great care about our words and actions.You may have great difficulty controlling your emotions and say and do careless and hurtful things, things not easily forgotten by your child. 

The problem I have encountered is that some of us are hardly more emotionally mature than children. They are physically grown but emotionally stuck in a childish or adolescent emotional pattern. They pout and sulk when they don’t get their way. They explode or withdraw when they get angry. The children of this immature, childish kind of  parent are often damaged by this emotionally toxic environment. Solution: grow up. Get help.

An important part of being emotionally mature is to acknowledge your mistakes and hold yourself responsible for your actions. It is important to understand a few basic principles about being responsible: First, your child (or anyone else) doesn’t make you angry. Anger is your choice. You own it and it is yours. Second, what you do with your emotions is your responsibility. You are accountable for how you act and what you say. Third, to change irresponsible behavior you must acknowledge your wrong and fix it with the other person. After a sincere apology or two you may begin to discover how distasteful your behavior is and discipline yourself in order to change it.

Emotionally mature love seeks to do what is in the best interest of the other person. The way you handle your frustrations with him will go a long way in building positive relationships.

Success or Failure

How does your child handle success or failure?  Is there any connection to how you handle success or failure?

Your child’s view of his performance in school, sports, music, relationships and various other pursuits affects the way he sees himself. Obviously, if your child is able to have some level of accomplishment in these areas he gains confidence and, therefore, tends to feel good about himself. Over time the ability to accomplish may lead to venturing out into more challenging pursuits. All children like to accomplish and the feelings of pride and confidence that come with it.

You can greatly aid your child in this area by involving him or her in helping around the house. Your child wants to feel big and able to do important things. Start early to teach them to be a “helper.” Teach them to fold clothes, work in the yard, load the dishwasher and do various other tasks. Second, choose tasks they are capable of doing and congratulate them when they accomplish their work.

As you involve your child in helpful activities around the house you are doing several important things in addition to helping your child’s sense of himself. You are preparing him to learn to work. You are also demonstrating that families can and need to share in the work of the family. And, you are also preparing your child for the time he will become independent of you.

Defeat is difficult for all of us to accept. However,an occasional defeat can be a good thing if handled correctly. But, I’m not concerned here with the occasional loss of a game or getting a grade in school that is less than desirable. What should concern us as parents is a pattern of defeat which discourages our child to the point they feel hopeless. Your child can play on a team that loses every game but not have a defeated attitude about life. Why? Because other aspects of his life where he feels successful and secure can counterbalance occasional losses.

But, how do we create a balance which helps our child gain confidence without becoming prideful? Emphasize the the need to be grateful and recognize God as the source of our gifts and accomplishments. This will guard against inordinate pride and the sense that our worth is based on what we can do.

What is Parenting About?

What is Parenting About?

Perhaps the most central question we need to ask ourselves as parents is: “What is parenting really about?” In other words, what is the main role or central purpose I, the parent, need to fulfill in relation to this child that has been entrusted to me?

Unfortunately, for some reason, this may be an area of concern which some parents never consciously consider. Many are so caught up with their personal agendas and the busyness of life that they don’t take time to talk about, much less put into action plans related to their primary role as a parent.

I would venture to say that many parents don’t have much of a clue as to what their main purpose as a parent really is. With our society’s rapid advance toward materialism and secularism it is no wonder that we are losing our sense of what life is really about.

This secular mindset defines what many think life is really about. Consequently, they rear their children in this godless approach to life where all values are relative and human life itself is becoming less and less valuable.

What do you think is the bottom line in parenting? What is parenting about to you? My next blog, “North Star Parenting” will attempt to provide a direction for you to consider.