Are you too trusting? In the previous blog I dealt with the issue of transference and how our difficult experiences in the past can cause trust problems in our present relationships. There is a “flip side” to transference related to trusting people which we also need to be aware of because that can cause tremendous heartache also.
Let’s say you grew up in a family where you could absolutely trust the word and character of your parents. And, for argument’s sake, let’s say that you would admit to being too trusting of some people, a bit gullible or naive about relationships. Do you see where I’m going with this?
Here’s the problem. When you grow up with trusting relationships you may assume you can trust almost anyone. You trust easily and have a hard time thinking that people aren’t using you or not telling you the truth. You want friendships and that special relationship with someone of the opposite sex. However, what you may experience if you are too trusting is heartbreak and disappointment and that you simply cannot trust everyone. This is a hard and cruel lesson but it can be very helpful.
How can it be helpful to have your heart broken by a sweetheart or be betrayed by a “friend?” Hopefully, you will learn that, while you are a trusting and trustworthy person, not everyone is worthy of your trust. You will learn that true friendships are very rare and are something to be treasured and honored. And being hurt can make you a bit cautious about who you marry; not to give your trust and love to someone who can’t reciprocate in kind.
Our trust needs to be given to someone who will treat it as a sacred gift. But, for this to happen, we must first value our trust and ensure we don’t just throw it at someone out of a “romantic” infatuation and desire to be loved. Guard your trust wisely.