How Can I Change?

How can I change? “I want my daughter to feel better about herself than I did growing up. But how can I help her with that if I don’t feel good about myself?” These are the words of a single mom who had become painfully aware of the destructive toll her anger and immaturity were taking on her daughter. I understood her painful question to mean there was a glimmer of hope for her relationship with her daughter. The weeks of therapy had created an awareness and an uncomfortable level […]

How Do I Change Directions?

How do I change directions? This blog addresses the last of the “Four Important Life Questions” series. There will be one more blog to continue the discussion of this very important question. Thank you for hanging in and doing the hard work required by honestly answering the previous three questions: (1) Where am I?, (2) How did I get to where I am?, and (3) Where am I going? Are you ready to change something about the way you do life? The change may be something small or truly life-altering. […]

Where Are You Going?

Where are you going? What is your destination if you stay on the road you are now traveling on?  Are you going to look back on life and regret bad decisions that set you on a destructive course? Will you wish you had taken a chance or a risk instead of being frozen by fear? Have you, day after day, continued on the broad road of least effort or resistance, giving little thought to where the road would end? Does this sound familiar? Is this what Jesus had in mind […]

How Did You Get To Where You Are?

How did you get to where you are? In my last blog, I raised the question, “where are you?” Hopefully, you’ve given some serious thought to what it is that is causing some real discomfort and pain in your relationships or other areas of your life. You know that getting that problem resolved would make life much more pleasant and easier for you. You may think you know the problem, but where do you start to fix it? This could come as a surprise to you, but what you think […]

Where Are You?

Where are you? This is the first important life-question you must think deeply about and understand if you are to make the changes necessary to get you to a better place in life. In order to plan a new course, to change direction, you must deal with the reality of the here and now. Thus, the first question. Where are you?  Let me explain what I mean by this question. So far as I know, the first recorded instance of this question was God’s question to Adam in the Garden […]

Toxic Thinking

Toxic thinking. Have you ever known someone whose thinking has been poisoned by the words and actions of others? I’ve known several folks like this. Many of them developed toxic thought patterns about themselves because of verbal abuse by a wounded parent. There is an old saying in Scripture that goes something like this, “The parents have eaten sour grapes and the children’s teeth are set on edge.” Toxic or poisoned thinking is often a generational issue; the grandparent is angry from an unhealed wound, afflicts their child with their […]

How Emotionally Mature Are You?

How emotionally mature are you? What if someone treated you the way you treat others? Would you feel happy, angry, disappointed, important or encouraged? Have you had someone hurt you by their careless remark or act?  Have you considered that your words and actions have a powerful effect on others? This is especially true with your child. To a large degree your child’s sense of himself comes from his interpretation of your words and actions toward him. No one can be perfect, we all make mistakes. However, being mindful of […]

Whose Dream Is It?

What dream or expectations do you have for your kid? Caution. You are probably well-meaning and only want the best for your child but be sure you know if you are imposing your dream on your child. When you put you child in a position to repeat your accomplishments or to accomplish something you did not you may be using him for your own end. This is unhealthy love. Please allow me to share with you a very common way in which this can happen. Healthy love does not attempt […]

Success or Failure

How does your child handle success or failure?  Is there any connection to how you handle success or failure? Your child’s view of his performance in school, sports, music, relationships and various other pursuits affects the way he sees himself. Obviously, if your child is able to have some level of accomplishment in these areas he gains confidence and, therefore, tends to feel good about himself. Over time the ability to accomplish may lead to venturing out into more challenging pursuits. All children like to accomplish and the feelings of […]

Truth and Trust

An important factor in building trust in your marriage or other relationships is being truthful about ordinary, everyday things in life. Mary Ann asks John, “Did you make the bank deposit today?” John hesitates for a moment but responds from the other room in an irritable tone, “Yes, Mary Ann, I made the deposit.” Opening the site to their bank account he negotiates the on-line transaction. Why did John choose to lie instead of saying something like, “No, but thanks for reminding me, I’ll do that right now?” There are […]