How can you really love someone without “knowing” them? If the ultimate goal of love is to do what is in their best interest, how can you love someone well without”knowing” them? You can have an attitude of acceptance and tolerance or an emotional connection with people which could be interpreted as love. However, loving someone as intimately as you should love your child is a different kind of love.
“Knowing” your child is vitally important to loving him well. How well do you know your child? While your child has similarities to his siblings or other children, in general, there is a real sense each child is unique. Knowledge of your child’s uniqueness is an important key in how you relate to him and how you provide loving discipline for him.
Children reared in the same home often experience that environment differently. This is true for various reasons such as personality differences, birth order, and your growth in being a good parent. The implication of all this is that you need to be a student of each child and not assume that when you have “figured out” what makes one child “tick” the others will be like him. Not so.
Discipline is an important area in which you need to know your children individually. Parents sometimes make the mistake of assuming one method, such as spanking, is the best solution for all their children and for all offences. The reality is that what may prove effective for one child doesn’t really work for another. Why? You know the answer. Your children are different.
If one of the purposes of parental discipline is to bring about self-discipline doesn’t it stand to reason that you need to consider what method reaches your child’s heart? Any method of discipline we use to correct or encourage our child’s behavior should pass two important tests. Does it show I know and love my child and will it, if used consistently, bring about the change I desire ?
How well do you really know your child? The answer to this question probably indicates the health of your love for him.