The Trust Factor: Marriage (part one)

Trust is vital in marriage. I recently heard of a situation where a young wife had discovered her husband was having an affair. When she confronted him about his unfaithfulness and the marriage vows he took he replied, “That’s just a piece of paper.” The “piece of paper” he was referencing was, of course, the marriage license. There are several things wrong with a scenario like this.

First, adultery is wrong. It is a breach of trust between a man and a woman who have agreed to be faithful to each other. There may be lots of excuses as to why a person succumbs to this temptation but there is no real justification for it. If a person isn’t mature enough to keep their libido in check they shouldn’t take on the responsibility of marriage. Adultery is the breaking of the trust which is vital to a healthy marriage. Trust can be repaired but only through a truly repentant attitude and hard work.

Second, there was probably a lot of misplaced trust in this situation. Sometimes, people allow passion to over rule wisdom. All of us need to be loved but we may fail to use caution when giving our love to someone else. Why? Because our desire and need for the security of being loved is so strong that we may naively accept the other person’s “I love you” as the real deal. The truth is that lots of folks talk about love without the foggiest notion of what real love is. But, we want to be “loved’ and are liable to fall for any counterfeit.In the instance cited above, trust was blind and naive.

Third, situations such as this cause me to question the character of those involved. I tend to see adultery in this instance as a symptom of a dysfunctional marriage. Something at the core of the marriage wasn’t right. There was no solid basis for trust because there wasn’t character to build on.

When a man and woman have committed to each other to be honest and meet each other’s needs a solid trust develops. The glue that holds relationships together in tough times involves the trust that has been built by the way they have cared for each other before the tough times come. We learn to trust our spouse, or vice versa, because we know them.

Trustworthiness is a part of good character and it is wise to have a good idea about the “character” you are thinking about marrying before you say “I do.”

More on this in The Trust Factor: Marriage (part two)

Where Do Children Come From?

A young boy asked his dad, “Where did I come from?” With beads of perspiration breaking out on his forehead the dad attempted to explain the process to him. Taking a deep breath when finished, the dad looked into the saucer-sized eyes of his child and asked, “Do you understand?” “No,” said the child, “Johnny said he came from Arkansas and I just wanted to know which state I came from. Can you tell me that?”

If you have children you can understand the plight of this father. And, you also understand where children come from. But, do we really understand where our children come from? Where do children come from? At first this question may seem a bit ridiculous. However, a close examination of some attitudes which underlie possible answers to the question will demonstrate its relevance.

Some people simply see children as the result of a sexual relationship between a man and a woman. The sperm and ovum unite, pregnancy begins and about nine months later a child is born. These facts are true but is that all there is to it? For some people that is all there is to it. They see no First Cause or Creator and do not recognize God as having anything to do with their miracle.

While there are those of this persuasion who take full responsibility for their sexual actions and embrace their child there is a deep flaw in this limited way of thinking. First, it rules out the privilege of consciously working with God to direct the life of the child. Second, some who believe that conception has no real spiritual meaning also tragically believe that the child can be aborted. Since they made it, they can dispose of it. This attitude, unfortunately, leads to approximately one million ¬†children’s lives being aborted each year. Since the supreme court ruled on Roe vs.Wade in 1973 approximately 55,000,000 abortions have taken place in our country.¬†

Where do you think children come from?