Are Your Fears Hindering Your Child’s Development?

Do you realize your fears can hinder your child’s physical development? Yes,that’s true and your child’s inability to accomplish certain ordinary things can work against his confidence and positive view of himself. Let me explain. Several years ago Joey (not his real name), about ten, was brought to me because he had almost become paralyzed by his fear of bugs. He didn’t want to play outside and, therefore, avoided it whenever possible. Instead of engaging in outdoor activities he developed a strong attachment to video games he could play inside. […]

What Messages are You Sending Your Kid?

What messages does your child get about himself from you? The most important factor in your child’s personal sense of value is how significant others, especially you, view him.  As his parent you have a uniquely influential role in how your child values or devalues himself. No one’s opinions and attitudes (messages) are as important as yours in the life of your young child. The early impression he gains about himself from you tend to be very powerful for most of his life. Why do you play such an important […]

Unconditional Acceptance Isn’t Always Easy

Can your child be who God made him to be and still be loved by you? Unconditional acceptance of your child is a major ingredient in his healthy view of himself. But to accept your child unconditionally isn’t as easy as it may seem on the surface. What does unconditional acceptance mean? It basically means you accept the totality of who he is. He or she has a physical body which means you must care for him and nourish that body until he can adequately care for himself. For example, […]

Unconditionally Loved: Your Child’s Sense of Self

Were you unconditionally loved by your parents? If so, how has that sense of being loved blessed you and freed you to be yourself? If not, how has that lack of acceptance troubled or hindered you? While working as a therapist I saw many adults who were still seeking their parent’s approval; in some cases, the parent was deceased. This feeling of ” not quite good enough” often leads to all kinds of dysfunctional behaviors. Some are “driven”to succeed while others seem determined to fail. The common denominator for these […]

Is Your Love For Your Child Healthy?

Most, if not all of us, would say we love our child. I certainly hope you do because love is what a child needs most. If you provide the kind of healthy love your child needs you will give him a foundation which will bless him his entire life. Have you ever stopped to ask yourself, ” Is my kind of love healthy or unhealthy?” What KIND of love does your child need? There is only one kind of real love, a healthy love. There is a kind of attachment […]

A “Knowing” Kind of Love

How can you really love someone without “knowing” them? If the ultimate goal of love is to do what is in their best interest, how can you love someone well without”knowing” them? You can have an attitude of acceptance and tolerance or an emotional connection with people which could be interpreted as love. However, loving someone as intimately as you should love your child is a different kind of love. “Knowing” your child is vitally important to loving him well. How well do you know your child? While your child has similarities […]

Sometimes Saying”No” Means I Love You

Sometimes love says “no.” It is our job to decide what is best for our child. This is one of the reasons God gave children parents ; because children aren’t equipped emotionally or intellectually to always make good choices. As parents we need to teach our child how to make choices and to weigh the consequences of those choices. This is why we must learn to say “no” at times. Your child won’t agree but sometimes saying “no” is more loving than saying “yes.” Healthy love doesn’t always give a […]

The Healthy Love Choice

Loving your child in a healthy way is not such an easy thing to do. It is not that your child doesn’t need or deserve such love but healthy love requires a high degree of personal discipline and maturity. Good parenting can’t be done by lazy people. Undisciplined parents cannot raise disciplined children. Unfortunately, some adults are incapable of healthy love because they are stuck in their own childhood needs. They have not grown up and cannot give a mature, grown-up kind of love. This is why I believe the […]

Healthy Love Takes The”Long Look”

 Are you taking the ” long look” in how your rear your child? Healthy love takes the “long look”. Healthy love does  not settle for what is convenient or what does not lead to the best for your child in the long run. Healthy love must sometimes be tough. It tolerates you child’s discomfort and anger. It is smart, knowledgeable. To be able to choose what is in the best interest of our child implies some knowledge of what life is about.. It means we choose to teach our child […]

Encouraging Self-Discipline (part five)

One of your primary concerns in using a friendly and firm manner in guiding your child’s behavior is to help him realize you love him. Hopefully, he will also realize what you require of him is for his good. You must keep in mind that your child is immature and may protest your decisions and declare how mean he thinks you are. Remember, he is a child and deep down he is comforted to know you are in charge and that you are there for him. Stay the course of […]